Travel Diaries: Sunny & Sonder at Asramam Maidan

9 August 2025, Saturday. 

The start of my long walks in August. 🙂 In my hometown, Kollam, the rains are less frequent in August compared to June and July, so I plan to cover more places from my India trip itinerary this month. Let’s see how that pans out. Fingers crossed. 

I still have a few more spots to cover in Asramam, Kollam. Although I visited Asramam Maidan in July, I was able to record only a rainy view of the grounds. So I planned to revisit the Maidan, take a quick lap around the walkway, and then walk to the Children’s Park. 

By 2:30 pm, I left my apartment. At the entrance, I noticed that our security guard was having a heated conversation with a stranger. Apparently, the man barged into the elevator without signing the visitor’s record. 

A Sunnier Asramam Maidan

I soon boarded a private bus bound for Ilamballoor(a small locality in Kollam) and got down at Asramam Maidan for a ₹15 ticket. This time, the sky was clear blue, but a lot was happening in the grounds. Drumrolls! The Gemini Circus was in town.

The circus team members and a construction team, mainly migrant labourers from the Northern states of India, were busy with their preparations. Some areas of the ground were even covered with scaffolding. 

I was excited to see balloon sellers and a plant nursery on the premises. I could also hear the loud music blaring through the speakers. The place will be buzzing with people and fun activities within a week.

I couldn’t help but hope: Maybe I will finally get to see a circus show this time. Perhaps my family will join me, too. Despite her health issues, my mom did enjoy the marine aquarium at Asramam Maidan a few years ago. 

The Crowd 

Since it was Saturday, that too a sunny day, the park had more visitors than last time. But due to my odd timing, many of them were taking a quick nap on the benches.  

I walked around the park, people-watching, as I wasn’t interested in clicking pics again this time. Since it wasn’t a rainy day, I had to be wary of the crows. A few dogs barked, chased, and fought each other in the distance. I had avoided animal print tops, just in case. Occasionally, I took alternate routes around the trees or bushes, away from the walkway, to avoid the dogs. 

A bearded, thin uncle sat atop a tree, singing the Malayalam film song “unnikale oru katha parayam.”  He sounded more sad than drunk. Our eyes met for a split second before I pulled away. He seemed surprised when I looked at him. Were his eyes searching for something? Or was it the weight of the pain he carried in his heart silently, without anybody to share?  I don’t know for sure.

Rest

That brief encounter lingered in my mind as I found a bench to rest on. My brother had scared me, saying a group of youngsters who lived close to our apartment, who used to take long walks daily for years, were diagnosed with arthritis at 40. When they heard that my brother and I also enjoy long walks, they advised us to take short breaks along the way. 

As I slumped on the bench, I noticed that a dog was sleeping on the sand nearby. He looked so peaceful and cute. There was a young couple on the opposite bench. The woman seemed lost in her thoughts as the guy slept with his head on her lap. I wondered what was bothering her. 

On my right, a few seniors with gray hair and spectacles were chit-chatting with each other. And on my left, a group of young Tamil guys with big suitcases were scrolling through their mobile phones. One of them was animatedly narrating some incident to the others. I pondered if they were waiting for a train. A lone senior with long white hair and beard, dressed in a saffron kurta like a sage, sitting at a distance, also intrigued me. 

Oh, how I wish to walk up to all the interesting people I see on the streets and ask them what their story is. In a kinder and more open world, that would have been okay. But in this unpredictable world, you never know how they will take it.

Love & Moral Policing 

There’s a stereotype about India that public display of affection(PDA) might lead to moral policing by the crowds. Unfortunately, in certain parts of India, such incidents have happened in the past. 

Sex is still treated as a taboo subject in many parts of India. Many Indian parents still prefer their children to accept arranged marriages instead of dating. And most of us have grown up, watching our parents shying away from public displays of affection. The younger generations, on the other hand, are more open to dating, love marriages, and PDA.

Watching young couples strolling through the Asramam Maidan and engaging in subtle forms of intimacy while sitting next to elders and strangers, without raising even an eyebrow, gave me hope that, at least in my part of the world, things are slowly changing for the better. I hope it will continue improving. 

I wish all couples, not just the heterosexual ones, but also the ones from the LGBTQIA+ community, could experience love without societal constraints and moral policing all across the world.  Love should be our normal, and hate, a taboo in this world!

Online Food Delivery Workers

I watched as a Zomato delivery chetan(brother) parked his bike in the shade of a tree, pulled out a steel tiffin wrapped in a white plastic cover and a bottle of water from his bag, settled on an empty bench, and had his lunch. He looked worn out. 

A Swiggy worker resting in the shade also caught my eye. I tried to imagine what their lives would be like. Are they toiling to support their family, or working part-time to make money for their own education and dreams? 

When we wait for our ordered food parcels, out of hunger and cravings, we can’t help but hope that the delivery workers will reach us at the earliest. But seeing them here at the park, having their home-cooked lunch all alone or resting under the shade of a tree, made me worry about the problems these online delivery workers must be facing. 

Low and unstable incomes, rising fuel charges, long working hours, lack of adequate rest, rude behavior from customers, the fear of cancelled orders, weather challenges, the need to rush, hence the lack of safety while driving, and whatnot. 

Sonder

I told myself not to overthink and to concentrate on the moment, as I don’t have the power to change anything in my country. So like a coward, I tried to drive away my worrisome thoughts. 

After some time, I felt a strange sense of calm as I sat there, watching everyone around me. Though each of us was a stranger and in our own worlds, there was an unspoken camaraderie between us. I had a happy thought that I was safe in their company. 

My whole experience and thought process during this walk reminded me of a word that I had come across in social media recently – sonder. 

Sonder is the profound realization that every passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own, filled with their own dreams, worries, routines, and stories you’ll never fully know.

Why does it matter? In literature and philosophy, sonder invites empathy – a reminder that we’re not the main characters of reality, but threads in a vast tapestry of human experience. It asks us to move through life not just with awareness, but with tenderness. Source & credits: cosmosbyrudra

There’s a quote with a similar idea in the popular Malayalam Novel, Aadujeevitham( Goat Days), written by Benyamin:

“നാം അനുഭവിക്കാത്ത ജീവിതങ്ങളെല്ലാം നമുക്ക് വെറും കെട്ടുകഥകള്‍ മാത്രമാണ്.”

Loose translation: “All the lives we have not experienced are nothing but fables to us.”

Racism

Even though I told myself not to overthink, the recent incidents of racial violence that Indians have been facing in foreign countries came to my mind. Not just Indians, but many citizens of Asian, African, and Latin American countries face such problems.  

I wish people wouldn’t be so quick to hate and would pause a second to think about what the other guy might be going through in his life. No one wants to be judged, hated, or bullied. Everyone craves to be understood, loved, and accepted for who they truly are. It’s the 21st century; hate, intolerance, racial discrimination, and violence must have no place in our world. 

Next Spot 

I got up from the bench and started walking towards one end of the walkway. On the way, I saw crows rolling on the ground and pecking each other’s beaks. A pink patrol police car (part of a government initiative in which women police officers patrol public places in these cars to ensure women’s safety) was parked near the Maidan. 

The next spot on my list was the Children’s Park. Google Maps showed that there was a 950-metre walk to the Park. Barely a 13-minute walk. However, the lethargic mood of the people around me was rubbing off on me. For a minute, I felt so lazy that all I wanted was to return home and curl up on my bed. 

But it was just 3:25 pm. I told myself to keep walking. It’s okay if you are too slow, but just keep walking. You have a long way to go in your life. If you stop every time you feel lazy or discouraged, how far will you go? Besides, there are so many more beautiful places and kind people you haven’t met yet.

Author’s Notes

~ All content, including images, on this blog is the intellectual property of the author. © 2025 Lirio Marchito. All rights reserved.

~ This blog is part of a series exploring my travels through my hometown, Kollam, a beautiful district in Kerala, India. You can read more posts from this series here: Kollam | Kerala | India.